Walking Cane

My fathers gout was 'acting up' again. He can hardly walk when this happens--at least not on the gout foot anyway. I thought I'd be a good son and purchase him a cane for walking (some might call it a 'walking cane'). Only thing is, though, all the canes at Pretty Much The Only Place in Town to Buy Canes[,INC.] only has canes made from the corkscrewed reproductive organs of domesticated buffalo. What the F!, right? Not only that, but they were ninety bucks to boot! Needless to say (as they say), I didn't buy him one.